Dad Joke - The CryptoDads - NFTExp.io

"I had a silver dollar, but then my dog got a hold of it. Now I have a Bit-coin."

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"Son: Hey dad! I decided to take your advice and invest in Cardano. Dad: ADA boy!"

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"What happens to a fruit when it passes away? It rests in peach."

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"What is the national dish of crypto? SpagETHi."

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"Where does an Eskimo keep his Bitcoin? In a cold wallet."

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"Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera."

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"What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream."

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"Where do boats go when they're sick?" "To the boat doc."

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"A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'"

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"Dad, can you put the cat out?" "I didn't know it was on fire."

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"Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems."

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"Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents."

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"Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet."

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"How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?" "You follow the fresh prints."

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"I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y."

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"I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along."

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"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."

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"I'm afraid for the calendar. It's days are numbered."

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"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."

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"It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa."

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"Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas."

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"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."

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"What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?" "Supplies!"

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"What do you call a fake noodle?" "An impasta."

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"What do you call a poor Santa Claus?" "St. Nickel-less."

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"What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer? The space bar."

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"Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island."

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"Why are piggy banks so wise?" "They're filled with common cents."

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"Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?" "It didn't have the guts."

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"Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?" "In case they get a hole in one!"

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"Why is Peter Pan always flying?" "He neverlands."

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"A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest."

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"Dad, can you put my shoes on?" "No, I don't think they'll fit me."

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"Dad, did you get a haircut?" "No, I got them all cut!"

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"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's okay, he woke up."

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"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"

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"Do you wanna box for your leftovers?" "No, but I'll wrestle you for them."

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"Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!"

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"How do you make 7 even?" "Take away the s."

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"How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together."

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"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."

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"How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?" "Nothing, it's on the house."

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"I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing."

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"I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's a little cheesy."

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"I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something."

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"I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless."

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"I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know..."

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"I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me."

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"I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands."

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"I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off."

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"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"

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"Is this pool safe for diving? It deep ends."

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"My partner said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward."

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"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!"

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"Shout out to my fingers. I can count on all of them."

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"Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants."

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"This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in."

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"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mindâ€”it's tearable."

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"What country's capital is growing the fastest?" "Ireland. Every day it's Dublin."

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"What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?" "Where's Pop Corn?"

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"What did the fish say when he hit the wall? Dam."

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"What did the ocean say to the beach?" "Nothing, it just waved."

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"What do clouds wear?" "Thunderwear."

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"What do you call a belt made of watches?" "A waist of time."

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"What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta."

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"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?" "Sofishticated."

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"What do you call a hot dog on wheels?" "Fast food!"

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"What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese."

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"What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?" "A meltdown."

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"What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?" "Prime mates."

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"What does a bee use to brush its hair?" "A honeycomb!"

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"What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?" "Yellow!"

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"What's a robot's favorite snack?" "Computer chips."

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"What's the best thing about Switzerland?" "I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."

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"When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent."

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"When two vegans get in an argument, is it still called a beef?"

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"Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers."

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"Where do math teachers go on vacation?" "Times Square."

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"Where do young trees go to learn?" "Elementree school."

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"Why are elevator jokes so classic and good? They work on many levels."

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"Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems!"

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"Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field."

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"Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?" "Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels."

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"Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up."

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"A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Hey, bartender. I'll have one beer and a mop.'"

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"How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?" "By its bark."

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"How did Harry Potter get down the hill?" "Walking. JK! Rowling."

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"How do lawyers say goodbye? We'll be suing ya!"

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"How do you get a good price on a sled?" "You have toboggan."

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"How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut."

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"How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!"

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"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it."

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"How does a taco say grace?" "Lettuce pray."

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"How does the moon cut his hair?" "Eclipse it."

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"I don't play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I'm just doing it for kicks!"

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"I don't trust those trees. They seem kind of shady."

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"I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind."

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"I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction."

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"I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn't concentrate."

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"I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea."

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"If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?"

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"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?" "Pilgrims."

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"If you see a crime happen at the Apple store, what does it make you?" "An iWitness."

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"That car looks nice but the muffler seems exhausted."

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"What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!"

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"What did one wall say to the other?" "I'll meet you at the corner."

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"What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging."

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"What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?" "They're both Paris sites."

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"What do you call a factory that makes okay products?" "A satisfactory."

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"What do you call a pony with a sore throat?" "A little hoarse."

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"What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."

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"What does a sprinter eat before a race?" "Nothing, they fast!"

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"What does garlic do when it gets hot?" "It takes its cloves off."

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"What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?" "Traffic jam."

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"What has more letters than the alphabet?" "The post office!"

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"What kind of car does an egg drive?" "A yolkswagen."

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"What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!"

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"What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y."

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"Where do fruits go on vacation?" "Pear-is!"

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"Where do you learn to make a banana split?" "Sundae school."

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"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."

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"Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired."

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"Why did Billy get fired from the banana factory? He kept throwing away the bent ones."

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"Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb."

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"You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg."

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"Can February March? No, but April May!"

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"Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize."

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"Did you know corduroy pillows are in style? They're making headlines."

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"Have you ever tried to catch a fog? I tried yesterday but I mist."

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"My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punch line."

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"What did one hat say to the other?" "Stay here! I'm going on ahead."

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"What did the zero say to the eight?" "That belt looks good on you."

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